The Art of Flunking Exams

So many tips have been given on how to pass examinations. So, why don’t we reverse situation? Let us follow the steps to master the “Art of Flunking Exams”.

1. Do not come to school regularly. Always be absent or else, always be late. You will surely become a superstar ‘cause your teacher will always ask of you and you will have your classmates’ eyes on you each time you come to school. But what is more exciting is that, you will become a member of SWAT or Samahan ng mga Walang Answers sa Test.

2. Do not study your daily lessons. Just like the saying goes: All work and no play makes little Jack a dull boy. So, why work hard to pass the examination? If you pass, your father may push you to study even more. But if you fail, he may ask you to drop out. If he does, then what a grand vacation! No teacher to prod or push you; no homeworks and no exams!

3. Do not review at all before examination. When your classmates are busy reviewing for a coming examination, just fool around. Laugh, dance and sing! See a movie or watch TV till late at night. If you do these, you will surely fail. But at least, for the meantime that test results are not yet known, your classmates may think you are a genius. Now, isn’t it great to be mistaken for a genius even for a while?

4. If you must review, practice cramming. If you do not review at all, your conscience may bother you for your laziness. So, make a compromise. Review somehow. But review only the night before the exams. Try to put into your head, in one sleepless night, what would normally take you one or more two months to put in. you will find out that, come examination time, you will be as groggy as a drunk. Now, how in the world can a student like this still pass even the easiest examination?

5. Keep your eyes on your seatmate’s test paper. In other words, just copy! But be sure to copy even the commas, periods and erasures. If you do, the teacher will soon find out and when she does, you will not only fail. You may also be suspended for a week or two. And isn’t that an exciting vacation.

6. Do not follow directions. If the directions ask for a “yes” or “no” answer, write “true” or “false”. If the direction says, “Encircle the correct answer”, put an “X” instead. In this way, you will also fail. But at least, hindi masyadong pahiya.

If you must fail in an examination, be sure you also fail in other areas like the recitation, projects and behavior. Then, you will have failing grade on your report card. To fail and then repeat the subject is enjoyable, isn’t it? Especially if you’ve got a big crush on your teacher!

These tips are sure ways on hot not to pass the exams. But remember that, as Oscar Wilde says, “Ideas are not responsible for the people who believe in them!”

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